My computer clock has just "ticked over" to midnight.... it's now the 4th day of January. Next thing I know, it will be back to school again for Miss 7, Master 4 starting kindy, back to studying for me. I'm feeling really tired, and I know that is mostly because I don't go to bed early enough. Some days I think I am in denial that I have children. I "know" in my head that they will be awake at 7am, but I can't seem to force myself to be in bed by 10pm so I've had enough sleep before then.
I wonder what is ahead for all of us this year. Is this the year Jesus will come back? Maybe, maybe not. Only God the Father actually knows, so it's no use us speculating.
I'm waiting on an appointment with a surgeon to have a small lump looked at. I'm trying to trust God, but some days my mind starts off on the "what if" scenario. There it is, tears again just typing that..... why?
In the last 12 months I've met two lovely ladies who I thought could become really good friends, and no sooner do we start getting close than God moves them away..... why? (thank goodness for Facebook and email and telephones)
My husband and I just got a dog for the kids. She is a 3 year old black Labrador, gorgeous dog, but today when I took her to the vet for her injections, they diagnosed her as an "allergy dog" and made all sorts of predictions about the treatment she will need.... why?
From the moment I found out Bethany had died in June last year, I've felt God telling me just to "trust Him", and I'm trying, but some days it isn't easy. Then again, maybe it isn't meant to be easy. Maybe it's in the hard stuff that we actually grow and learn.
Maybe if I hadn't gone through 10 years of infertility and one miscarriage, I wouldn't have had the opportunity to share with a lady I met today.
Maybe I should go to bed and wake up feeling refreshed for a change! Yes actually, I think I will :-) Goodnight!
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